KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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