Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize