Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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