omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
