Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
