Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
