u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
