the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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