I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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