Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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