No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
