I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
