The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
