Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
