4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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