I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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