Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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