I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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