do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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