i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
