Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think people are normalizing furries
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
