If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
