Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
