I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
