We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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