3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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