why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
