i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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