just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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