thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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