Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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