I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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