Having a random hookup so left but love u
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
