i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
