Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
