I am spending my child support on dildos
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
