need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
