I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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