it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
