remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
