Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
