So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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