Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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