Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No I am not eating basil off your cock
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
