I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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