you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
