"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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