It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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