I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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