so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
