I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
