please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
