And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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