mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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