I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
