Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
