You know, be my cock's hype man.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
