why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
