if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
